


When in Doubt..

by paladin_of_black



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Crying, Dismemberment, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Hanzo starts sad, Jesse loses his arm later in, Lots of Crying, M/M, Slow Burn, abandonment fears, he ends up happy tho, it turns out okay tho, sad to happy?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-01 19:24:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15780504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paladin_of_black/pseuds/paladin_of_black
Summary: Jesse could hear his pulse in his ears as he waited for the firing to stop so he could make a clear escape to the dropship that was waiting for them at the docks. It would be so easy to just run, to clear the area and get out of there; that would’ve been the case had Jesse McCree not been caught up.In which Jesse McCree gets left behind and it scares him shitless.





	When in Doubt..

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is my entry for the 2018 Reverse Big Bang inspired by @ volkabai on discord! Their art is absolutely incredible!! Thank you so much for the opportunity to do a RBB, this is my first bang of any kind and I'm so happy it turned out the way it did!

“C’mon Jesse, we gotta-” Reyes’s voice rang over the comms as they worked through Rialto. Without hesitation, the very man in question dodged a rain of bullets from the enemy squad gaining on the single four members of Blackwatch that had been on a quiet mission to capture Talon’s leader, Antonio. The mission had been scheduled in Rialto by none other than the group’s commanding officer, Gabriel Reyes.

Jesse could hear his pulse in his ears as he waited for the firing to stop so he could make a clear escape to the dropship that was waiting for them at the docks. It would be so easy to just run, to clear the area and get out of there; that would’ve been the case had Jesse McCree not been caught up in this squad that had been hunting them like a hawk, the enemy team’s assassin giving him reminders now and again that they did, in fact, have an eye in the sky. He heard over his communicator that the ship would be leaving soon and he could only hope to God he would make it in time. He tried to form an escape plan, chest tight and heavy, like there was a vice around his ribs.

Jesse was frantic, eyes scanning his present location as he determined the quickest exit, making and executing his plan and running through the doorway hidden in the back of the small room. He ran past the door and in the direction of the docks, looking around in a panic and hoping that this would be his way out of the fight and into the safety of the dropship. That’s when he heard the voice over the communicator in his ear, heart dropping and a wave of nausea settling over him; “Dropship leaving Rialto in 5 seconds; all agents on board now.” He couldn’t help but let his emotions take over, running towards their predetermined location, eyes wide and full of fear as he made it to the docks just as the ship was off the ground and leaving Rialto. He let out a quiet whimper before he tried to get their attention, waving and jumping, but it was to no avail.

It hit him like a bullet as he remembered how he could reach them; his communicator. He tried to get in touch, pressing the button as he did his best to get hidden from the squad he had escaped instead. “Jefe, it’s McCree! I wasn’t in the dropship! Get them to turn around!” He waited for a response frantically, but was only met with the sound of radio silence and static, indicating the other agents were out of range. He no longer had eyes on the ship and there was a heavier weight settling into his chest as his panic began taking over instead.

Gabe will realize I’m not there, they’ll turn around and come back, don’t freak out. He won’t leave you here. He won’t leave you behind. He won’t let the team leave you behind.

He waited for the ship, feeling the tears settle in his eyes, begging to be released as no ship re-entered his line of sight. He let out a trembling breath, climbing up the dock and getting to an empty building away from the firefight. Like Hell am I gonna die here too. He squatted, trying anything and everything to reassure himself that he wasn’t left here to die, that they would come back for him. Rialto was starting to become a warzone and Jesse couldn’t bear the thought that Blackwatch was leaving him behind, that his newfound family was leaving him behind. He didn’t want to give life to the thought, but there was no dropship turnaround, no communication over his earpiece, no indication that they even realized he wasn’t on the ship. He was alone here, and now he had to get back to the base.

They don’t want you, and if you go back, you’re dead meat, Jesse. Reyes and the others meant to leave you here.

He let out another shaky breath as his thoughts started consuming his every action and decision. He was starting to believe the voice in his head, no tears falling this time as he began making his way to the entry point that he remembered. What part of Rialto was this again? Where even was the drop point? Jesse no longer remembered the way they came and he realized just how hopelessly lost he was in the maze that Rialto truly was as he continued on, silencing his brain as he tried to recall the directions they had taken through the city. He made his way through debris, making himself as small as he could as a squad peeled through the small corridor that he had just been in. When they moved through and had gone, he relaxed a little. He heard some debris shift behind him, just like when he’d come in here and he pulled out Peacekeeper, aiming for where someone’s head would be, and arrow already making contact and knocking the gun from his grip. Before he could grab for it, there was another arrow notched and aimed at his head from the figure behind the bow ahead of Jesse. With the effort of a man on a mission, his brain grovelled for the name of the figure before him. Hank? Hako? Hayden? Jesse couldn’t remember until he heard that voice. “You’re disarmed. Don’t try anything stupid, or I won’t hesitate.” The pair of icy blue eyes tracing his every move belonged to one archer and one alone, Hanzo Shimada. His brain played through the few times that they’d worked together when they were both younger men with little experience beyond their respective clans. The Deadlocks and The Shimada clans worked together to keep the criminal order at bay and in line on several occasions and right now, Jesse couldn’t keep his brain from replaying their closeness once Hanzo was peeled from his shell and much more open to actually conversating. Jesse let out a nervous laugh, watching Hanzo hesitantly. “Listen, this ain’t what it looks like, I promise. I just- need to leave, my dropship is waiting on me-”

Without hesitation, Hanzo followed Jesse, kept the arrow trained on the man in front of him- is that a cowboy hat? The archer in question noticed immediately the emblem upon his shoulder and the uniform he was wearing. “Blackwatch? What are you doing here anyways?” It was about that moment in time that the communicator Hanzo was wearing communicated clearly what had happened; his mark had been shot through a window by none other than Blackwatch’s commander. He was to return to base as soon as he could by any means necessary. His jaw set as he pulled his bow back, about to release the arrow. He let out a small sigh before speaking. “Your commander just killed my mark. You’re not going anywhere.”

Jesse observed the change in pace quicker than he should have, eyes widening to the size of dinner plates as he opened his mouth to defend himself. “Hanzo, I know you remember me; we worked together a couple’a times, please just- You have to believe me- Please don’t hurt me, I just want to get back to my base and out of here, the dropship left without me- please, don’t kill me-” Hanzo’s eye twitched as the hold on his arrow faltered slightly, bits and pieces of a memory flitting behind his vision. He shook the few pieces of the reminder off, not focusing too hard on them as he adjusted his grip, jaw clenched in disbelief and pity. “Why should I let you live or escape? Your commander killed my mark, ruined my mission, and my escape. Give me any good reason I should allow you your life, Nokemono*.” Jesse shook like a leaf, frozen in place and throat closing up out of fear. “Hanzo, I’ll make it up to you, I can get us both picked up out of here; it would just take a call and we could both be out safe and sound. Please, just give me a chance-” Hanzo had had enough of the cowboy’s pleading, letting out another sigh, much heavier this time as he kept eye contact with the man in front of him. “I’ll make you a deal and here are your options; Your command compromised my mission; I’ve never met you, but it looks like your team left you here to die; they aren’t coming back for you or they’d be here by now. You caused this lockdown of the city in the middle of my mission, so help me get out of Rialto or I’ll kill you myself and Blackwatch won’t be able to find you unless it’s in pieces. I can assure you of that.”

Jesse lets out a shaky breath, nodding; what other choice do I have? “I know where to go to get to Blackwatch base, but it’s gonna be quite the walk. I’m sorry about the mix up there; I could’ve sworn you were someone I knew.” Hanzo lowered his bow, shaking his head. “I know where I’m going from here, just don’t get lost and try to keep up, Cowboy.” After the words leave his lips, Hanzo’s arrow meets the scanning drone that had just entered the shell of the building they were hiding in. Jesse has enough time to watch the drone fall to the floor before Hanzo darts out of the door and towards the direction of his own way out of the city. Jesse follows quickly and quietly, only hoping that Hanzo is telling the truth and that he won’t be left behind a second time. Hanzo has taken a higher path upon the roof of the building he can stand on carefully eyeing his newfound prey while Jesse takes the ground path. Jesse lets out a shaky breath, making sure Peacekeeper is loaded and ready to go before he decides to follow the archer above him. With a diver’s breath, he turns the next corner to follow the archer in question. He lets out the breath he just inhaled shallowly, tired eyes determined as he comes face to face with the squadron that had gotten him stuck in this stupid city in the first place. “Well, hell, what’ve we got here.” He lets out the remark with a shaky laugh before dodging a few bullets narrowly behind the nearest threshold he can find. Vwhip. With the quiet sound that flies by his ear, he follows its path, only to find a Talon soldier with an arrow in his chestplate and the wound causing him to sink to his knees. “You can’t let your guard down if you want to make it out of here, Jesse.” He follows the voice once again from earlier, spotting Hanzo at the corner before the doorway he’d dived into. In an instant, Hanzo is gone and there’s a heavy hitter searching for the duo. He aims Peacekeeper, right for the head of the mech in front of him and unloads his pistol before dodging the quick approach of the machine. Without missing a beat, he slips out of the doorway and past the mech he’d dodged moments ago. He feels his pulse in his ears once again and all the Cowboy can feel is adrenaline coursing through his veins. He loads Peacekeeper once more and is met with the group that he’d dodged. Jesse knows what has to be done for him to escape and not be left behind After observing the small number of this squad, he lets out a quiet sigh before speaking the clearest he had this whole time. “It’s High Noon.” And it works, he can’t believe his eyes as the few there are have been brought to their knees from the shot he’d taken.

“McCree, we have to leave. Now.” Hanzo’s voice cuts clear through the rush of blood to his head from the adrenaline as he realizes what that means, comprehends the words at their face value. He takes a moment to actually understand what his actions had just caused, how many there are dead. Before he can start to move, there’s a sound of an engine revving from his 6 o’clock and without a moment to clarify what’s happening in his own head, there’s burning metal at his back, the sensation overtaking everything else as several arrows move around him, knocking whatever it is off of him. He lays on the ground, trying his best to move, he really is, but there’s nothing he can do for now. Shock has set in and all he can do is look upwards as Hanzo moves towards him quicker than he’s ever seen anyone move in his life. “C’mon, McCree, get up. We have to go, right now.” He lets out a shaky breath before catching it once more and slowly standing. He collapses, but regains a small amount of strength. He’s sat up for now at least, takes a moment to move and assess; he isn’t dead, but God Damn does everything hurt right about now. “Hanzo, I can’t- Move right, gimme a minute, sharpshot, gotta catch my breath-” Without a moment between them, Hanzo presses something into his hand. He feels the shape of two small items. The archer’s gruff voice cuts through his confusion as a pouch of water is pressed into his other hand. “Take these, we’ll rest a moment and you can gain your energy back.” Jesse lets out a relieved breath as he nods, swallowing the objects in his hand and the water in gulps after a moment. He leans against a wall, hoping that he can trust Hanzo through this little bit. He hears that gruff voice once more, laced with concern for once and not just monotone as he nods once more.. “Rest, McCree, you need your energy.” He can’t say no to that, setting his hat beside himself as his eyes fall closed. He lets out a quieter breath, finally relaxing as best he can for the night.

Hanzo watched quietly, ensuring that his full attention was on the doorways of the building they were in first and McCree second. He let out a quiet sigh as he watched McCree sleep silently. He racked his brain over and over, trying to figure out what the cowboy had meant earlier by knowing him. Where would he possibly have known someone like that from? He didn’t let it bother him for very long before he let out a noise of frustration, not pushing any farther. If he truly did remember, it would come to him, just as memories of the past had from before the clan, before he was a yakuza in training, an assassin capable of tasks by any means necessary. Once upon a time, Hanzo had been a boy, nothing more, nothing less, knowing what his future had planned for him and how the cards were already laid and ready to be played. He knew what his place would be when he became old enough and he was preparing for the day they would ask him, one of Shojiro’s only two sons, to step in and play his role. That was before everything had gone south. He could still hear the screaming of his brother, could still hear his broken sobs as Hanzo did what he had been told to. It drew him back to think about, having been told that it would be his duty and his alone to knock his own brother down a few notches, to put his brother back in line and set him straight. Genji had been falling astray from the teachings of the clan, not wanting to be a part of the killing and the strife and struggle that were a part of being a Yakuza. He wasn’t ready to be a killing machine, and Hanzo understand, but had no choice. No one knew he’d take it so far. He hadn’t meant to, truthfully he didn’t even realize what he was doing until it was too late. He had promised his life to recover a mark like that on his reputation to the clan. The legend that their father had always told them when they were young had come to a shocking fruition and-  
Hanzo heard the sound of debris rustling as he pulled out and drew his bow, ready to end the life of whoever was going to attack them- him- the both of them. He wasn’t going to let McCree get hurt. He was drawn to protect this one, and maybe the universe would aid him if he kept this one alive. The rustling settled, dissipating and becoming nothing more than the background noise of Rialto.

He looked above them, the roof of the building broken and cracked, revealing the coming of night as McCree rested and Hanzo kept watch. The man in question was sitting up with a yawn, looking around like he was lost. He supposed that they were; this definitely wasn’t his route, and Jesse probably had no idea where they were in the city anyways. “Are you doin’ alright? You look a little less than okay.” McCree’s voice broke through the haze in his brain. He nodded, a small smile gracing his features. “I could ask you the same thing, McCree. How are you holding up?” Jesse let out a small laugh, followed by a cough with a grimace twisting his features. “I’m holdin’ up, that’s for sure, Hanzo. You should get some rest too y’know, it might help with all’a,” McCree motioned to Hanzo trying to give him a general wave. “This that’s goin’ on. You can’t run on fumes, even if you think you can; I’ve tried an’ failed and you need sleep if you ain’t got none today.” Jesse looked away, almost regretting his decision to open his mouth in the first place as a rosy tone set over his cheeks. He let out a small sigh, nodding to Hanzo instead. “Rest, alright? I can keep watch just like you did.” Hanzo shook his head, pulling the small pouch off of his back and opening it to reveal a small amount of dry foods. “We’re in an empty area, and you aren’t in a condition to fight, McCree.” Jesse scoffed, shaking his head. “Rest, Hanzo. You’re gonna need it.” His eyes were full of determination, trying to convince Hanzo that he needed the rest he was avoiding so very hard. “I’m fit to fight, and if I need help, I bet’cha aren’t a heavy sleeper anyways. Get some sleep, alright?” The man before Jesse let out a small half sigh, turning his face away as a yawn escaped his mouth. “I- suppose I can rest for a bit. But if anything happens, all you have to do is wake me.” Jesse lets a smile cover his face, just a small one, as he nods following Hanzo’s statement. “Can I ask you a few things first, Han? Is it okay to call you Han? If not I can stick to Hanzo or Shimada or-” Jesse’s face was flustered as he tried to explain himself quickly.

“Han is alright for now. It’s a little quicker than Hanzo anyways.” Jesse let out a quick puff of air he didn’t know he’d been holding onto, nodding with an embarrassed smile across his face instead. “And you can ask me questions, but if I don’t answer, it’s because I’m not willing to share it, not because I’m hiding something from you.” McCree nodded, smile only widening as he moved to sit cross-legged.

“So, first off, do you remember anything from when you were younger? Like what missions you went on or the group you were in or stuff like that?” Jesse gave him a look of a muted kind of amazement, trying not to let himself get too excited. Without a moment’s hesitation, he moved closer, moving a few things around between them to set up a small ‘fire pit’. It wasn’t exactly a fire pit, but that didn’t matter. He pulled out a matchbox, lighting one and setting the small amount of kindling ablaze. “This is so we can see as it gets darker; we’ve got stuff to keep it goin’ for a bit, but its gonna get real dark here soon, y’know?” He sat back after, not waiting for a response as he awaited the answer from Hanzo about his first question. The archer in question gave a small nod, not sure exactly what he was asking or why he’d need to know that. Hanzo took a small breath before giving a short answer. “Well, if I remember, it was a lot of moving around. I was a part of the early Shimada clan. We were assassins, ninjas if you will, and we were and still are very good at what we do. I remember a few of the missions, but not very much detail. I do remember a heist that we were on, one of my very first missions, and it involved another gang, the Deadlows or Deadlocks, something like that. I don’t quite remember everything, but there are a few pieces-” Jesse is taken aback by the name, heart pounding harder in his chest. “Deadlocks. I know those guys.” Hanzo nods, looking away as he breathes the next part. “We killed many people, were criminals and they were the first gang that I got to go on any kind of mission with. I remember my father, one of our leaders, telling me to be cautious, that they weren’t fair people and that they didn’t care what happened as long as they got what they came for.” Hanzo let out a shaky sigh, remembering the few painful pieces of what he had left from that mission. He remembers the small town they were robbing and taking out, their screams, how many there had been, and the kinds of horrible things the members of both gangs had partaken in. “We’ve all got a past, y’know? We’ve all got some dark shit, Han, it ain’t gonna make me think any less of ya.” Hanzo met McCree’s waiting eyes, full of emotion and concern. “It’s alright if it happened, so long as you know what ya did was wrong, and ya do ‘yer best to make up for it where ya can.” Jesse gave him a small smile, a sigh following it. “I was a member of Deadlock, I know how tough that shit is and the stuff you probably had to witness. It ain’t pretty, but it’s what keeps you alive, or did at the time anyways, and that’s okay.” McCree shook his head a little. “Do you remember any of the agents from that mission? Or what happened at all?” Hanzo shook his head very quickly, eyes darting away from Jesse. He didn’t want to remember, even if he could recall it in the first place. McCree nodded, moving onto something else. “Why did you become a Shimada? I mean, beyond being born into it. Surely you could’a chosen somethin’ else to become.” Hanzo shook his head again, “We weren’t allowed to change our trade. I had- an incident with- a member that didn’t wish to conform to the standards, and he’s- no longer with us-” Hanzo’s voice broke as a weight settled in his chest after the words left his lips. He was a murderer, and he was sure if Jesse had known any more, he’d never think of Hanzo the same again. He let out a heavy sigh moving to get a little more comfortable. “I remember a little bit about the members of Deadlocks, one distinct thing caught me every time. They’re all branded with an emblem, ensuring that they’re a gang member for life. It has information in it, it’s some sort of carrying tattoo, something that was significant to them. I was never sure what information was stored in it, but-” He looks up to meet Jesse’s face, but is only met with the cowboy in front of him rolling up the sleeve of his shirt. “You mean like this. It’s encrypted with the names of our dead. When we met up, its the one thing that tied all of us together. We could hold onto the fact that we were all Deadlock, even those that weren’t with us anymore. No matter what happened.” Hanzo is full of remembering upon seeing the tattoo. He lets out a shaky breath, looking away as it hits him full force where he remembered McCree’s voice from.

 

“Have you ever thought about starting over? Not being a part of any group or gang and just- living a normal life, McCree? What’s stopping you?” He gives the cowboy across from him a sad, almost knowing look. They know the answer collectively, why neither of them could ever live normal lives. Jesse lets out a small, pitiful laugh as he looks away with a defeated look overtaking his features. Hanzo nods, rolling his shoulders instead. “I know why you can’t start over, we both know, but your team left you behind. You don’t have to do this anymore; you don’t have a gang anymore, McCree.” His eyes followed Jesse’s every move after this point, trying to read his body language instead. “I know it would be hard, but just- think about it- alright? If you wanted even, I know some people that could remove that technology from your forearm, could remove the whole tattoo; we could even replace it if you didn’t want to deal with all that pain. That ink has weight to it now, even if you can’t feel it anymore. I know how hard that would be for you but-”  
Without missing a beat, Jesse turns from hurt to upset, voice raised before he can stop himself. “If you think, for even a second, that you can just suggest somethin’ like that and tell me they ain’t ever comin’ back for me, hopin’ I know that you mean it well, then you’ve got me confused with someone, and you can fuck right off with all that money. I ain’t somethin’ you can just buy and use and toss around. Yer kindness ain’t amount to a hill a’ beans in that case, Hanzo Shimada.” He lets out a huff, turning away from him. “Get some sleep and don’t bring it up again, or I ain’t gonna be nice about it next time.” Hanzo was a little frustrated in response, not sure where to go or how to respond. He nodded, settling into the space across from McCree. If Jesse would just let him help, maybe he could even just have the tattoo removed; it wasn’t that big a deal. Hanzo slept, dreamless as it was. Jesse watched over the other for hours, quietly, but full of questions- Who would even suggest something like that anyways? He might regret a lot of what happened with Deadlocks, but he didn’t want to lose the last remaining piece of the group he used to call his family. It was all he had left, and much as Reyes had tried to get Jesse to get rid of it, he’d opted out of getting it taken off of him. It wasn’t too long before the morning began to roll around. He let out a small yawn, not able to tell exactly what time it was. He had pondered the remainder of the night, knowing that there wasn’t a whole lot he could do right now. He didn’t even know what part of Rialto they were in, let alone where he’d even go from there. With the sun high in the sky, today was a new day, and he intended that they be on their way, Hanzo just had to wake up first. He sighed, standing and walking towards the other, kneeling and leaning over to gently tap his shoulder. “Hanzo? You ready to wake up, darlin’?” He hadn’t meant to let the last part slip, but if he was lucky, Hanzo wasn’t even awake; he called everyone doll and baby anyways, what’s another ‘darlin’ to his endless list of people he kept close anyways. The archer in question stirred slowly, blinking awake while Jesse still leaned towards him. McCree blushed lightly, smile ever-present on his face. Hanzo couldn’t help but stare; that was the first thing he’d woken up to. He remember the situation they were in and nodded. “I’m awake McCree, don’t worry.” He sat up, hair tangled from his rest. He used a hair tie to pull it back once more, slowly standing after and stretching. “Let’s get moving before anyone discovers us.” He picked up the pouch he had set beside him while he slept and clasped it back into place. “Are you ready to go then?” Hanzo nodded towards him, brow raised in a questioning manner. “I’m ready whenever you are, Hanzo.” McCree was already standing, wary of what lay beyond the thresholds of the building they had camped out in. Jesse wasn’t sure was left, but whatever was out there would surely be easy to overcome. He had faith in the both of them and nothing was going to stop him from getting back to base. He leads the way this time, Hanzo following him closely. He wasn’t exactly sure where they were going, but he did know that they were closer to the outskirts of town. There weren’t many buildings that hadn’t been touched, and they were getting closer to the heart of Rialto the more they walked in that direction. He turned to let Hanzo know what he was seeing up ahead, but Hanzo had already moved to the roof of the closest building, not wanting to be unaware of what they were finding. The squad ahead was much larger than what they’d encountered from the day before and there were at least 2 heavy hitters this time instead of just the one. Jesse let out a shaky sigh, an uneasy feeling settling in his chest and a weight settling into his gut that he couldn’t place or shake. He pulled out Peacekeeper, ensuring that his revolver was loaded and ready to take the shots he’d need to defend himself if it came down to that. He let out a more steady breath, settling into the small alcove before the entrance where the squad were gathered. He noticed the few actual soldiers that were there, other omnics taking their place instead this time as well. Without a second thought, he starts to work his way past part of the squad to get through this section. They needed to be on the other side, but alternate routes had been blocked by what Jesse can only assume are this squad of Talon fighters. He almost loses his footing around a corner, dodging being noticed very quickly. Freezing in place seems to be a whole lot harder as he stays behind the pillar, hoping that none of the soldiers had noticed him. He hears noise from behind where he’s hidden, eyes closing as he takes a gasp of air, turning the corner and ready to fight if he needed. The soldier there had begun walking back to the main gathering area, but decided that he needed to give it one more look, turning back towards Jesse’s position. He pulls the soldier behind the place he’d just moved from, knocking the soldier into the wall, Peacekeeper pressed to the other man’s head. “Don’t move, don’t talk, and don’t scream or you won’t be alive to tell anyone, I can promise you that.” Jesse gets a nod from the other man before he knocks him out with the butt of Peacekeeper. He lets out the heavy breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. Hanzo is probably wondering where he is and if he’s okay, that is if he’s even in here. He’s gotta get through this and make it back to the base. He’s just not sure how he’s gonna get out of this right now. There’s a whole squad in there that want nothing more than to end him and he knows that. He steps back out of the alcove, starting to move back through the area with ease. Without a moment to think about it, he’s yelled at from where they had gathered in the middle of the room, turning towards the location of the voice and giving a shaky sigh. He knew it could come down to this, but he was hoping with everything that he had that it wouldn’t. “Easy, y’all, I was just passin’ through-” Just like before, a bullet whips by his head, followed by more very quickly. He lets out a heavy breath as one pierces his shoulder; he runs, because that’s all he can think of doing at this point in time. He knows that he needs to get the hell out of dodge, but there’s not an exit he can find right now. He knows that he has to defend himself, even if it kills him, and that’s sure as hell what it’s lookin’ like from his perspective. He lets out another breath, spinning the revolver on Peacekeeper and unloading round after round and praying that he makes it out of here. He’s on the last of his bullets, able to defend himself for a good amount of time before the heavy hitters have turned their full attention on him. He can’t do this for much longer, body seeming to be full of bullets at this point as he tries to move towards whatever place he can at least gain some sort of last moment for himself. Then he hears it, clear as day. Without understanding what’s going on, he sees a set up dragons, actual dragons attacking the heavy hitters that he knows he can’t defend himself against. He can’t help but take a few more shuddering steps towards an exit before a heavy hitter is charging his back. He can’t help but watch as his life plays before his eyes, how he’s never going to see his commander make his dad jokes all the time, he’s never gonna get to see his team in action ever again, and it’s all he can do not to cry. He lets out another shaky breath before the heavy pinning him in place starts to make a noise- he doesn’t know what it is, but he can only assume it’s not great. This is how he’s gonna die and boy does he know it. He tries to move, slowly at first, but all he can do is move a little, not even enough to matter. The heavy hitter behind him detonates at his back, a burning immediately the first thing he notices. The dragons have since dissipated, and that’s what had caused the detonation of the heavy hitter. He can hear yelling, can hear someone screaming for him, that’s his name on their lips. He lets a small smile grace his face as he feels someone shaking his shoulder, trying to stir him from whatever this is. He can’t feel his fingers wiggle when he moves them, all he can feel is pins and needles and cold. That’s really all he can place as he realizes that it’s Hanzo calling for him. He’s being pulled up against the man in question, panic written across his features. “You alright Hanzo?” It’s all he can speak, but Hanzo doesn’t answer. Jesse assumes that he’s making no sense, and he lets out another breath before things start fading. Hanzo hoists Jesse up and gets them both out of there, focused on nothing more than keeping the cowboy alive. Hanzo lays McCree down once they get farther away, and he’s panicking. He pulls out a small tool from his pack, using it to inject a numbing agent into Jesse’s arm. “I hope you slept on your decision well enough, McCree. It doesn’t look like getting rid of that tattoo is much of a choice now.” It’s mostly mumbled to himself, as Jesse is mostly unconscious and wouldn’t be able to understand what he’s saying anyways. He can see the edges of Rialto, pulling up the location of the nearest safehouse on his watch. The closest one lights up and honestly it’s makeshift, but it’ll work for now, and for what they need it to be. It was set up to be there in case he needed it during the mission. He hoists McCree over his shoulder once more, making sure that the bleeding was gauzed up at least, and starting to clot; it’s the least he can do to keep Jesse alive while they get to the safehouse. He continued to walk past the gates that make up the city limit of Rialto, Jesse starting to stir in his grasp. Jesse lets out a small groan, stirring lightly before falling back asleep. He doesn’t want to wake Jesse because he knows what that pain is going to be. He wants more than anything to take back what had happened, but all he can do now is make sure Jesse gets to the safehouse and gets the care that he needs. He walks in silence, trying his best to walk smoothly to keep from waking Jesse. He makes it almost to the safehouse before Jesse stirs and finally wakes up, groaning from the pain. Hanzo continues to walk, jaw tensed up as he waits for the man on his shoulder to realize why he hurts so badly. He opens the door to the safehouse and is greeted by a member of the team. He swallows thickly, eyes full of concern as he speaks with the person that had greeted him. He nods with the response, ensuring that Jesse is being taken back to have his wounds cleaned and dressed. He sits Jesse down in a chair, sitting beside him and watching quietly.  
“Hanzo, I can’t- feel noth-” Jesse lets out a shaky breath, eyes widening to the size of dinner plates as he sees his hand. His whole face pales, expression rigid as the nurse appears from the room that the member had disappeared into. She takes Jesse back quickly, Hanzo following in tow. Hanzo watches with concern weaved into the face of stone that he wears. Jesse lets out a small sound every time a nurse touches where his arm had been removed. They start to administer pain relievers to Jesse as he lays in the bed that they had prepared, not sure exactly what they’re giving him. Jesse is beyond scared, worried more than anything about what’s going to happen to him after he gets back to base. “I know what you’re thinking, Jesse, and it’s going to be alright, I promise.” McCree can’t meet Hanzo’s face, looking to the wall blankly. He’s trying his best to stay calm as it is. They begin to administer a sedative instead, Jesse still in shock through the process. He watches through what feels like tunnel vision as someone begins talking with Hanzo about whatever’s happening. He’s fighting his eyes to keep them open, not wanting to fall asleep quite yet. He doesn’t know anyone here and only trusts Hanzo. He can’t fight any longer as his eyes fall closed, ensuring that the sedative had worked.

 

All Hanzo can hear right now is white noise, knowing that they need to transport him to a Hospital to ensure that he’s cared for properly. He’s on the seat beside Jesse the whole time, reaching for McCree’s hand without realizing what he’s doing. Without a moment between one action and the next, he’s holding Jesse’s hand, worrying and scared for what’s to come. They begin to transport him, using the vehicle that they’d had to move him to the nearest hospital. When Jesse stirred awake, he was hooked up to a machine, that much he could tell with the small, quiet beeping that was no more than background noise. He looked around quietly, trying to move the blanket that had been tucked onto his body with both hands, only to remember the pain in his forearm in excruciating alarm. His face twisted in pain, air hissing through his teeth as he tried once more to move the blanket and sit up, a groan leaving his mouth. Hanzo had been asleep at his bedside, waking quickly to the sounds, giving McCree a once-over. “Here, let me help you, McCree-” He stood quickly, pulling the blanket back and watching as Jesse’s eyes went wide once again. Hanzo gave him a sad, apologetic look, worry very visible on his features. “It’s going to be okay, Jesse.” McCree wasn’t able to get his breathing even, wasn’t even trying at this point, his brain too focused on the fact that his whole forearm was missing and gauzed up. Hanzo’s voice wasn’t more than background while he tried to wrap his brain around what he was looking at. “It’s gone, Han- f-fuckin’-” He let out a shaky sob, trying his best to keep together what little sanity he had left while sitting next to Hanzo. He can’t focus on anything else, can’t even begin to fathom what even happened. In the midst of doing his best to focus, the shock moves to the back of his mind as he wipes at his face hard enough that his cheeks are raw when he’s finally done. He can’t make eye contact with Hanzo, can’t even look him in the face right now.

“I know this is bad, Jesse, but I promise that this can be repaired as well; I know someone here that can get you a prosthetic, someone that can fix this for you, you just have to say the word. I promise things will be alright.” He keeps rambling, can’t help but ramble as he tries to comfort the one person he has left that means anything to him. Hanzo Shimada can’t help but feel defeated when the soldier in front of him won’t so much as look him in the face. He finally sits back, anxiety taking over his mind and face, as he awaits a response. He hears quiet snoring, looking around the small room that they’ve been placed in for now. He looks once more in the opposite direction, finally letting his gaze glance over to McCree; the cowboy is asleep, resting finally. He doesn’t look happy, doesn’t look even peaceful as one should when they rest, but at least he’s sleeping. At least he’s finally resting.

Gabriel Reyes is a dead man as soon as they get back. He’s spent the last almost week of his life panicking and in shock, hoping, praying to whatever’s listening that Jesse fucking McCree isn’t fucking dead. He’s giving it everything he’s got to not lose his mind. He can’t drop many troops to the ground, but the few he has let loose have found nothing; no sign, no body, not even his fucking hat. This is all his fault and he knows it. Strike Commander John “Jack” Morrison is going to kill him for refusing his orders, deliberately taking the missing soldier Jesse McCree into his own hands behind Jack’s back. What the Strike Commander doesn’t know won’t kill him, but it sure might give him a heart attack after he’s done learning of what Gabriel has done. He’d remembered clear as day what had gone down that night. It was like it had been just the night before. They had survived to see another day, had lived through Rialto and a secret Black ops mission that not even Jack knew about until after the fact. Gabriel had heard those doors shut, had let his mind slip as it took off. He remembers noticing the empty seat and being told that they couldn’t go back. He insisted that the pilot flying had to take them back, and told that Jack had called them back, agents on board or not. Jack had explained that he hadn’t said ‘all agents on board or not,’ but that was the extent that it was taken to. The hole in his chest that had begun blooming ached and burned as he shouldered the blame for Jesse being stuck in Rialto. He should’ve been the last on board, should’ve taken the time to ensure that everyone was safe and aboard before he climbed onto that ship. He had told himself that he’d scour every inch of Venice if it meant that he could find any sign that Jesse McCree was, in fact, alive and safe. They’d found no sign thus far which meant he was either captured or safe; either way he was alive, and they had to find him, or find something that meant the prior was false anyways. Gabriel can’t fathom losing this one to another fight. He’s not giving up, but he’s starting to lose hope that Jesse is even alive. So help him God, if Jesse McCree is no longer on this earth, he’ll find a way to bring him back, just so he can give him the lecture of his life; but for now? He just has to keep searching.

Hanzo Shimada is one of the most quietly understanding people Jesse has ever had the pleasure of knowing. While Jesse sits on the examination table quietly, being fitted for a shiny, new prosthetic, he’s holding quiet conversation with the attendants they’ve been paired with for this event. Hanzo had told him that it would be alright, he wouldn’t owe anything after the fact, and he was going to be there to help him get used to this change in his short life. He had remembered the look on Hanzo’s face after he woke in panic, not wanting to cause him any other grief. He’d asked why they hadn’t contacted Blackwatch, Gabe, hadn’t even tried. Hanzo explained carefully, answering the other small list of questions he had boggling his mind as he began to make sense of everything that was going on around him. They had given Hanzo a list of things that would help Jesse get more and more used to having a prosthetic and they’d taken careful time to show Jesse the layout of the new forearm attached to his body; it all made sense, and Jesse wanted nothing more than to be back on Blackwatch’s base as soon as possible. He began to let his mind roam to Gabriel, to Genji, to even Moira, all companions throughout his time as a Blackwatch Operations Agent. He wondered if they cared that he’d been left behind, but before his mind could drift too far off, Hanzo had begun talking through the rest of their route back to Hanamura, back to his clan so they could make contact with Commander Reyes. He didn’t want there to be any other tensions, had told Hanzo that he wanted to be the one to talk to his Commander; he didn’t want Gabe to think that Hanzo had captured him and wanted to let him know he was alright, headed home and needed a lift. After their conversation about their further plan, they headed towards their next destination.

Upon reaching the small town next, Tabi, it had read on the sign, Hanzo lets out a heavier sigh, visibly tense after they reach the first building, a small shop that specializes in ramens of all kind. They took a seat at the bar towards the back of the dining area, ordering their bowls and holding quiet conversation as their food is prepared. Hanzo is the first to let his words escape his lips. “I remember when I fought here; I know the resentment you might be feeling right now after everything that’s happened, and that’s alright. I don’t expect anything from you, Jesse, not now and not ever. I remember losing my hand and forearm and how terrified I was; it was horrific and a tragedy for someone of my designation in my family.” He takes a moment to hold up his right arm, pulling off the glove that had been present since they had first met in Rialto on this journey back to his home and Jesse’s as well. After it was off, he waited for Jesse to speak before continuing. “That’s the story behind my aim. People have made up so many things over my lifetime, but it’s the prosthetic I have that ensures I aim as well as I do. Without it, I could never call myself an archer again.” He let out a small sigh as bowls of ramen were slid in front of them both. Jesse let out a small, shaking breath as he started in with his new prosthetic on the food. He didn’t a response, not wanting to sound insensitive or as if he didn’t care. He just continued to eat, attempting to seem unfazed by what they were talking about. His mind began to wonder yet again as Hanzo lets out another quiet sigh.

“You know he’s not coming back, don’t you? That this contact is going to be for nothing? They left you and I doubt they’re hunting for you right now or at all, Jes-” Without missing a beat, Jesse stands, a shaking huff leaving his lips as his eyes begin to well with tears. “You don’t know shit, Hanzo Shimada. They’ll find me, I know they will. We’re a family, and family don’t leave each other behind. Seems like that’s somethin’ you ain’t even learned about your own.” He leaves his bowl half full, tears burning down the apple of his cheeks and down his cheeks into his beard, as he storms outside. The way that Hanzo watches him leave is like a lost, wounded puppy that doesn’t know what’s going to be left of it after it’s all said and done. He lets out a quiet sigh once more, finishing his food, swallowing his pride with every mouthful of the food he’s swallowing down. He leaves payment for both bowls, a tip for the server, and heads to follow Jesse McCree outside like a man on a mission. He wants to prove himself right, but he knows that Jesse won’t ever want his help again if he doesn’t at least try to make this better between them. He hadn’t realized how much Jesse had meant to him until he was beyond the threshold of the restaurant, eyes on Jesse’s fleeting form. He knows where this leads, but he can’t stop himself as he chases after, shouting. “Jesse, wait up!” He started moving faster, but can’t recall quite when as he tries his best to meet the cowboy on his anger-fueled path. He can see the shake and tremble in the other man’s shoulders as he finally catches up, slowing down to place a gentle hand on his shoulder, trying to talk to him.  
“Unless you’re here to ‘pologize, I ain’t got nothin’ to say to you, Hanzo.” Jesse is doing his best to look anywhere but Hanzo is getting into his space, trying his best to get Jesse to even talk to him, or so much as glance at him. Jesse refuses this push, not wanting to get anymore angry or upset than he has to; he just wants to be home, more than anything. “I’m not here to fight anymore, if that’s what you mean.” He lets out a frustrated sigh as he turns his glare towards Hanzo. “Your family, they might’ve left you behind, for whatever it is that you did, but I’ve still got one, and they sure as hell wouldn’t leave me here to die. I know them and they just wouldn’t do that Hanzo. Might be hard to grasp for you, but I promise you they wouldn’t.” Hanzo gives a pained look upon hearing the words leave Jesse’s mouth. Harsh as they are, he might be onto something. He’d never admit that to Jesse anyways. “If that’s what you choose to believe, I won’t stop you, but I know we’re both just trying to get out of this in one piece, Jesse. You don’t have to like me, don’t have to care about me, but if we work together, I keep my commentary to myself, you keep pushing on, we’ll get where we need to go. Deal?” Hanzo awaits a response with hope hidden in his tone of voice. He wants Jesse to never want to go back, for whatever reason he can’t explain, but that’s another thought for another time as he hears the cowboy exude a heavy sigh, nodding. “Let’s get outta here then, alright? Don’t wanna be here any longer than we gotta.”

They reach the next small town of Ugoku, not wanting to linger between one city and the next. Jesse has had a few chances to try out his new prosthetic, wanting to at least get used to it if he has to be stuck with it anyways. They’ve taken a few stops between to practice their shot to keep on their toes. They had just finished practice before entering the town. “You know, you ain’t as bad a guy as I thought you were when we first met, Han.” He had said it quietly, hoping that Hanzo would hear (or wouldn’t) and would just leave it be anyways. He didn’t want to stroke his ego if he could help it; Hanzo was insufferable when they were both in good enough moods. He heard the man in question let out a small, short laugh as he responded in kind. “And you aren’t as bad a shot as I initially thought you were, Jesse.” Jesse is struck by the returned compliment, having to take a second to slow down and think about the words that just left Hanzo’s mouth, not even sure he heard him correctly. He sped up to catch up with Hanzo, almost sure that he had heard him correctly. They head into Ugoku without missing a beat, noticing the sun setting below the line of the small town very quickly. They go to another shop, having dinner and making jokes between the two, keeping up ample conversation as they enjoy their meal. After they both finish eating, they move together towards the small rentable rooms. They get the cheapest room available, sharing the space with Hanzo on the floor and Jesse on the cot. They’re not exactly uncomfortable with sharing a bed, but there’s ‘plenty of floor space, Jesse, I can rest down here for the night.’ They sleep easily enough, the sun rising once more into the early morning sky.

Hanzo is the first to wake, sitting up slowly from his makeshift bed on the floor. He starts to head towards the closest restaurant, grabbing something quick to take back to the room. He’s started to see someone in the town that doesn’t look anything like other regular people there. He’s got Blackwatch across his shoulder and the emblem right below the words. The man in question, his height and tan beyond tan with the eyes to match and a proud black beanie sitting upon his head that looks almost too soft to be on a man of his figure, approaches Hanzo, deep bags sitting underneath his eyes. He looks in need of a really good rest and maybe a good healthy meal with the way his armor sits.

“Have you seen a man about yea high,” He motions to just under Jesse’s height, continuing. “He’s wearing a cowboy hat, he goes by Jesse, and he’d be in armor that looks like mine, the whole getup.” Hanzo swallows thickly, shaking his head. “I haven’t seen anyone that looks anything like the person you’re talking about, but I’ll keep an eye out.” Gabriel Reyes, Commanding Officer of the operation that had ruined his escape out of Rialto. He felt a pang of rage run through his body as he turned to leave, heading back towards the room. If it weren’t for him, Hanzo would already be home and out of here, and he couldn’t ever forget that. He let out a shallow breath as he made it back to the room. He let out another shaky breath as he closed the door and leaned against it. Jesse was nowhere to be found in the quiet room, Hanzo’s brain immediately flashing to the man he’d met at the restaurant he’d just left. He let out a small breath again, turning around and re-opening the door. Upon the door opening, he was met with none other than Jesse McCree, the cowboy’s face downcast as he met Hanzo’s gaze. Jesse let out a small huff, waiting for Hanzo to take his hand off the door so he could enter before Jesse started asking questions quicker than gunfire.

“Hanzo, just be honest with me. Did you see him?” Hanzo gave him a questioning glance, wishing to be anywhere but right in front of Jesse at this point in time. “Who do you mean?” Jesse gave another frustrated huff, shoulders shaking from his rage. “The stranger everyone’s talkin’ ‘bout.” It’s Hanzo’s turn to dodge another question, eyes meeting the ground as he tries to make himself smaller. He wants desperately to not be in this room right now. “I didn’t know there was even a stranger in-” Jesse lets out a frustrated grunt this time, venom spilling past every syllable beyond his lips. “We both know that’s absolute horseshit Hanzo, so be honest with me and just give me straight answers. Gabriel fucking Reyes. We both know who the hell I’m talkin’ about, so fess the hell up.” Hanzo swallows thickly, trying to move past Jesse.

“Why the hell would you lie to me about somethin’ like that? I could be headed back to Blackwatch’s base right fuckin’ now, but you lied to him and to me.” Hanzo feels guilt weigh heavy on his body, plastering itself across his face as he tries to look up at Jesse, unable to even make eye contact at the moment. He tries to reason with himself in his own head, but he can’t even come up with a reason, let alone a good one, as to why he’d lied to Gabriel, to Jesse, and why he was continuing to lie even now about seeing Gabriel, about having been around Jesse this whole time to Gabriel Reyes. He continues to keep quiet, Jesse’s resolve wearing dangerously thin as his jaw locks and he steps closer into Hanzo’s personal space. He’s speaking through clenched teeth, eyes full of anger and fear and upset as he lets every word slip out of his mouth, laced with every ounce of venom that Jesse McCree has in his body.

“I have a really hard time believin’ in anything you’ve promised right now, and you’re pressin’ your luck, whether you meant to or not. I just wanna get home, n’you had to go on and tell my Commanding Officer that you hadn’t seen me at all; You had to go and pull some dumb shit like that, Hanzo, just had to for a reason you don’t even know. I wanna get the hell back home already, and it sure as hell seems like you’re doin’ any and every God Damned thing it takes to keep me from getting’ there. I’m not your plaything or your Huckleberry or nothin’ like that. I just wanna get back to Gabe, back to my base with Blackwatch. Give me at least that much, Hanzo. You see him again, and I heard that you lied to him about knowing my location, I’ll make you regret it.” He steps back, realizing that his hand had been on Peacekeeper this whole time without him intending that. Hanzo can’t keep his mind focused long enough to do much more than take a step back and land without a sound onto the bed that Jesse had slept on the night before. Jesse takes another step back towards the door, turning and taking his leave with a very heavy huff. He’s beyond frustrated and needs to cool down before he does anything he’d regret. Hanzo is his way home, after all. Hanzo takes a few moments of trying to reason with himself, why had he lied to Jesse and Gabriel? He can’t piece together why he did that at all. He waits for a few beats, exiting the hotel after collecting his few items and paying for the other part of the bill. He gives Jesse a minute to collect himself, hoping that he’s much more calm at this point, heading to meet him once more. He approaches the cowboy slowly, watching the way his shoulders shake again, warm tears pouring themselves down Jesse’s face once more.

“You ain’t gotta hide, yknow. I just wanna get home. S’why I’m so on edge. Just wanna get back to base and yell at Gabriel for leavin’ my sorry ass behind here. If I ever see him again.” His voice breaks at the last part, more tears burning their way down his already raw cheeks. Hanzo takes a risk that he might live to regret, moving closer and slowly wrapping an arm around Jesse, both arms meeting his shoulders to hold the other, no matter how awkward this seems or is gonna get. The least he can do is attempt to comfort his friend that he might really deeply care about, but he won’t let anyone in on that last part anyways. He holds the other, feeling arms wrap around his middle as the soldier in front of him has reached his breaking point, silent sobs wracking his whole body. He just wants to get home more than anything, and that’s what they intend to do. They rest for a little longer, letting Jesse calm down for a bit, then they leave, back onto the journey towards Hanamura, and towards the clan that Hanzo wishes he didn’t have to call family any longer. They’ve been tailed 3 or 4 times now, not sure how they know their location each time, but they make it each time, almost to Hanamura. The closer they get, the more guilty Hanzo feels, remembering what had happened that had gained him the path of assassin beyond his daily life as a budding Yakuza.Jesse had begun scouting ahead several feet back, not wanting to be surprised anymore by those they’d face; it would give Jesse the perfect opportunity to test out the mechanics of his new arm as well, and that’s what he’d been doing thus far. Hanzo had taken the time to think, not sure what was still driving him to do this. Jesse was a stranger; Hanzo wouldn’t do this for anyone else, but had for Jesse, for whatever reason. He let out a heavy sigh as he was cornered instead by a small group of four thugs outside of Hanamura’s walls. He’d fought this few before and won every single time, without fail. He should’ve been able to defend himself, and he’d taken out two of them, the other two giving him trouble as he defended himself. Hanzo had been pinned to a wall, the thugs recognizing him as a Shimada of all people, a knife finding it’s way into his shoulder. A yelp ripped its way from his throat as Jesse turns tail and runs as fast as he can back after hearing the sounds of the fight behind him, where he knew Hanzo was. He let out another yelp, much more pained this time, as the knife was removed. He’d used his bow in a form of fighting he didn’t show often. He’d used his bow as melee for longer than he could remember, and he had the advantage here with that style of fighting. He’d taken out the last two thugs, Jesse rushing in just at the very end. He sinks to the ground, letting the adrenaline course through his body as he tries to pull out some gauze, realizing that he didn’t have any with him as he emptied the pouch he carried. He let out a shaking sigh as he held his shoulder, eyes closed in pain. At this point, Jesse was by his side, pulling out a few medical items of his own. “It’s gonna be okay, Hanzo, we’ll get you patched up and get goin’ again, don’t you worry.” He did as he’d promised, cleaning Hanzo up as best he could, patching him up. Hanzo’s vision was blurry and he leaned on Jesse, who’d helped him stand, walking them into Hanamura and towards the place Hanzo had once called home with his brother and father.

Upon entering the city, Jesse shows his unfamiliarity to their surroundings, the town bathed in festival lights and decorations. “It’s not that I don’t like it here, I really do, Hanzo, but it’s not somethin’ I’m used to.” Hanzo gives him a shocked look, brows meeting his hairline as he gives Jesse the most confused look he’s ever given him. “You mean to tell me that you’ve never been to a festival of any kind? Ever?” Jesse gives him a small nod, walking him through the city still. “You deserve to have a good night like we have in Hanamura all the time. Come. Let me show you a few things about Hanamura.”

Hanzo doesn’t have a lot to show him, but there is a festival that night, to celebrate the peace that had continued throughout the city while almost everywhere else was cleaning up from post-war. They come to another small shop like in the other small towns, Hanzo having the server bring over some sake, passing Jesse a cup of the warmed liquid. Jesse tosses it back, a shiver visibly moving through his body as he lets out a small laugh, trying to move it through his system quickly, not focused on the taste. “That’s some weird stuff you got there, Hanzo.” The other man just gives a small chuckle, nodding and sipping at his sake. “I know you don’t have a whole lot of time outside of your work, but you deserve to get out more often, Jesse. It’s the one thing you should allow yourself to do, if nothing else. It keeps you well rounded in the end. At least, that’s what my father always said to me once I became an assassin; that if I had nothing else, I should still be able to go out and treat myself.” Hanzo stared into his glass, taking another sip of it, and deciding to down the rest of his cup instead. Jesse is in his own mind at this point, sipping occasionally at his own cup. He’s in his head, thinking about how buying drinks is definitely a platonic thing to do, that it’s definitely not weird and that’s something you definitely do for a friend. Hanzo had simply wanted to remedy the fact that Jesse had never been to a festival at all. He starts to let his mind wander as he hears Hanzo talking, but isn’t registering the words. God what would Hanzo think if he knew? Would he feel the same? What would he say? Hanzo can’t ever know. He’ll never talk to me-

Jesse is pulled from his thoughts as Hanzo says his name a few times to get his attention once again, Jesse’s eyes flying up to Hanzo’s waiting face, his own brow raised as he waits for Hanzo to repeat himself. “What’s that, Han?” Hanzo lets out a chuckle, looking down into his cup once more. “I was asking if you thought it was time to rest for the night. We could go to the towers tomorrow and get in touch with your commander then. Considering how much you seem to be struggling to keep focus, I think it’s time that we rest anyways. C’mon.” Jesse nods, following Hanzo to the door and across the street to the hotel-like rest house. They make it inside, are met by a few tired looking staff members, and Hanzo is asking for a room before Jesse can even begin to register anything happening beyond Hanzo’s walk and stop and hands pressed on the counter. “Don’t you have single rooms with 2 beds? Or two open rooms at least?” Hanzo’s voice sounds confused, a little upset, and frankly he wouldn’t mind sharing a bed with Hanzo at this point. The waitstaff at the desk, mainly a woman that looks close to Jesse’s age, informs Hanzo that, no, in fact, they’ve rented all of the rooms he’s asking for; the only room they have left is ‘a queen size in our honeymoon suite.’ Jesse lets out a small sound, looking away from her and getting a lot closer to Hanzo than he should, almost whispering to him that there’s danger still around, ‘Hanzo, we’ve gotta stay low key. There are still squads out there, and we don’t have time tonight to go find another hotel somewhere. It’ll be okay.’ With Jesse’s encouraging, Hanzo takes the one room with a small sigh. It’s at least a bed, and that’s more than they can find right now anyways. They get into the room, Hanzo letting out a nervous sigh as he’d let the inebriation cloud his mind about his feelings towards the man that’d become his travelling companion out of Rialto. “I can sleep on the floor, darl- Hanzo; It really ain’t that big a deal, ain’t the first tim-” Hanzo grabs the other side of the blanket that Jesse reached for, wanting to get started on the dcot he’d be sleeping on. “You don’t have to sleep on the floor Jesse; I’ve no qualms about sharing a bed with you.” Jesse lights up beet red, more from embarrassment than the alcohol he’d blame it on if he were ever asked about it. He lets out a nervous laugh, setting the blanket back on the bed, nodding slowly in understanding. “I guess if you say so, Hanzo.”

With that settled, Hanzo gets comfortably undressed body sinking into the bed. They have to share a bed, Hanzo is more than nervous, but is better than he’d like to admit at covering his nerves with a mask of confidence and apathy. He asks Jesse to hit the light after he kicks off his boots. They settle in for the night, Hanzo letting his hair down and getting more comfortable than he’d been the entire evening. Jesse is up for at least an hour after he hears Hanzo’s breathing slow and steady. He lets out a sigh and tries to get more comfortable before deciding that it is pretty cold in the room; that would be a super simple fix, but what if it disturbed Hanzo? What if it made him overheated? Jesse decides to curl up next to Hanzo. Jesse is startled when Hanzo stirs and rolls over, wrapping his arms around Jesse, still almost all the way asleep. He flushes a full tone of red across his cheeks again, realizing that Hanzo is still steadily letting out soft breaths as Jesse decides that being wrapped up in Hanzo definitely could be much worse. Hanzo’s pretty warm to boot, and he lets out another breath of relief, wrapping his arms carefully around Hanzo to reciprocate. He falls asleep just like that, wrapped up in Hanzo instead.

When the sun burns into the early morning sky, Jesse’s eyes are the first to open. He realizes that Hanzo is still wrapped around him. McCree lets him continue his rest, his brain silent for once as he keeps his gaze rested on Hanzo. He lets his mind wander, thoughts only coming a few at a time for once. He’s not angry for once; he looks so peaceful. He deserves this rest after everything we’ve gone through. He’s been going for so long. He rolls his shoulders carefully a yawn slipping past his lips as Hanzo finally stirs beside him. Hanzo’s chocolate brown eyes roll open, blinking slowly as he registers the position that they’re in. He looks around slowly, gaze falling on Jesse; Jesse, who’s wrapped around him. Jesse who’s lying next to him. Jesse who’s got his arms around Hanzo, fully awake, fully aware of the situation that they’re in. He can feel his face warm up as he tries to justify what’s going on, why it doesn’t feel bad to be in this situation with Jesse of all people, but it just feels right and Hanzo can’t quite grasp why until the realization hits him like a freight train. Hanzo likes, might even love Jesse McCree, the cowboy that had followed him all the way to Shimada Towers, and surely would follow him all the way back if he asked. He lets out a shallow breath as he sits up, letting a small smile grace his features as he looks towards McCree who’s mimicking the smile on his face. They dress, Jesse giving Hanzo a small hug on their way out, thanking him for everything so far.

After they leave the building, they head to the towers towards the edge of the city where Hanzo is greeted with open arms, his clan welcoming him back and asking about Jesse. Hanzo gives them brief explanations upon questioning, but never gives more than is needed to explain their predicament. He explains to the few that are in charge of communications that his friend, his acquaintance Jesse, needs an open frequency to contact Blackwatch. They set up the connection, suspicious, but allowing it; Hanzo is Shojiro’s son after all.

Jesse starts the call, asking for Gabriel by name, and Gabriel’s voice is breaking through the line before any sort of picture is connected. Jesse lets out a shaky sigh as the video is connected.

“Gabe? You there?” Jesse’s voice breaks as he looks at the video feed, smile wide and so bright that it’s almost blinding as Gabe’s face comes into view. There’s a quick release of air, an audible, almost wounded-sounding gasp, as Commander Reyes’s voice cuts through any static or background noise. “Where have you been mijo? I’ve been worried sick about you- I’m so glad you’re okay. Where are you right now?” Jesse lets out a small laugh, explaining to Gabe that Hanzo had found him after he’d been left, had gotten him back to safety; he gave a meeting point for Reyes, just outside of the city and explained that he had a lot to tell Gabriel when he did see him again. They end the call, promising that Gabriel will be there in an unmarked flyer tomorrow when they meet.

Hanzo watches this display quietly, not wanting to interrupt or give the wrong impression and after hearing the setup for the meeting, there’s a physical ache that wrings his whole chest and makes it feel like there’s a vice on it that just won’t stop. It’s a pounding ache, and he can’t pinpoint the cause of it besides Jesse McCree and the realization that yes, Hanzo Shimada does, in fact, love him. He lets out a shaky sigh as he lets his brain run away with it for now; he loves this weird awkward cowboy and Jesse is someone he wants around. He lets out another shaky sigh before speaking again. “Jesse, I need to talk to you about something. It’s pretty important by any standard and I just-” He pauses, voice wavering as he takes another deep breath. “Jesse. I think I love you and I don’t want you to leave. Or Hate me. Please; before you leave, think about what you want.” The other man in the room speaks the words to himself quietly, as if seeing how they taste in his own mouth. That’s really the only way Hanzo can tell me he loves me, doesn’t want me to leave. Jesse thinks through it, nodding in response.

“I don’t know if it’s worth anythin’, but I think I know what you mean, Han.” He gives the anxious figure in front of him a small smile, just like the morning, and he hugs him once more just like he had this morning. They prepare, packing the few things that Jesse has up in a bag, a million thoughts racing through his mind. He climbs into the vehicle that Hanzo had arranged to get him to the convergence point, not wanting to be late. He’s in the back with Jesse, another shaky breath leaving his lungs as he speaks quietly, almost hoping that Jesse is the only one that can hear the things he’s about to say. “Remember what we talked about Jesse?I know they’re coming back for you, but it’s not too late to start over. A clean slate. Now’s your chance to leave and to never look back, Jesse; the choice is ultimately yours.” Jesse gives him a wounded look, mirroring the shaky breath that Hanzo had expelled a little bit prior. Jesse has no words, nothing left to say as they reach the meeting point. The car stops, Jesse stepping out and Hanzo quietly following in tow. The aircraft that Gabriel had said he’d meet them with has already landed, that’s what they’d been waiting on and what felt like it was taking forever to the cowboy that had stepped out of the car.

Gabriel can’t help almost falling on his ass as he rushes to meet Jesse, rushes to meet the agent that had been like a son to him. He’s shaken and distraught and relieved all at once, and can’t place which emotion he feels the most until he sees Hanzo behind him. He tenses up, soldiering on coldly as he makes his way to Jesse. “It’s time to come home, Mijo. Let’s get you home and cleaned up and forget any of this ever happened to you.” Gabriel waits for Jesse to follow, heading already back towards the aircraft he’d come in on.

“Gabe, gimme just a second; I’ll be on that plane in a minute. Got one last thing I need to do.” He walks over to Hanzo, fighting tears as he slowly speaks, clearing his throat. “Hanzo, I can’t thank you enough for everything; I’m here and alive, and it’s all thanks to you. I’ve got things I’ve gotta go do, and it seems like you’ve got the same. I love you and I know you love me and I wanna keep talkin’ to you. I’ll see you again; we’ll be just as in love, and we’re not ever gon’ lose this. Promise.” Jesse gives him a sad smile as he pulls Hanzo into a bear hug, arms wrapping around him in kind as he holds his archer like he’s never gonna let go. “You got a comm I can talk to you on?” He gives the quiet few words as he pulls back, not wanting to let go of him ever. Hanzo nods, giving him contact information for on and off the communicators they’d had. Hanzo steps forward, hugging Jesse as tight as he can manage. He lets out another sigh, stomach doing nervous flips as he pulls back. Hanzo watches Jesse turn and walk towards the plane that Commander Reyes had come in on, not entirely sure what’s left of this situation. He waits until the aircraft had taken off before climbing into the back of the car they’d come up on. They drive back to the tower, making it back before dinner and before his father can worry too much.

As the doors of the plane shut behind Jesse, he remembers everything that he has to say to Gabe from all the nights that he’d been away from him and Blackwatch and his beloved base. “I can’t believe that you never came on look for me, Gabriel Reyes. Some fuckin’ Commander you are. I’ll be sure to let every future agent of Blackwatch know how Commander Reyes leaves his agents behind and doesn’t even go lookin’ for em. I was left to die out there! You left me to die! You promised you’d never give up on me and left me in Rialto. I can’t believe you’d do that or-” Gabriel has stepped towards him, eyes full of hurt and regret as he brings a single finger to his own lips in a ‘hush’ motion. He lets out a quiet sigh as Jesse continues on his rant, pulling him into a hug after most of the anger is gone. He’s glad to have Jesse back in his arms; Jesse is like a son to him, and he always will be. “I know, as much as you think I did, I didn’t ever intend to leave you behind. Just let me explain. Jack, Strike Commander of Overwatch, the be all, end all of commanders, someone that we have to listen to; He found out that we had left for the Rialto mission in the first place.” Jesse’s eyes are sad and upset and its all Gabe can do not to hug him even tighter. He’d been keeping eye contact to get Jesse to understand. “He found out that we left, and recalled the ship before I could do anything about you missing. I talked to him after the pilots had told me that we had to return, all agents on board or otherwise, and the order he gave was to get Blackwatch back as soon as possible, with everyone on board the ship. Unfortunately, that wasn’t communicated as well as it should’ve been. I promise you that we never intended, any of us, to leave you behind. We care about you Jesse, and we’d never do anything like that to you.” Jesse is shaking visibly as Gabriel continues explaining. “I know this might be a tough question but, what happened to your arm?” Jesse had forgotten about it, face twisting in pain and shock as he recalls what had happened. “I kinda- lost my arm. Han fixed me up; I even shoot better than before.” He continues explaining everything that happened, how they got out of Rialto, and how Hanzo saved his life on more than one account. He’s full of life and home safe. He finishes his story as they reach the base, the ship landing quietly and quickly.

Jesse McCree is welcomed back with open arms, everyone on board so glad that the base’s cowboy is safe, sound, and home for all it’s worth. He feels the love and compassion that come from his teammates, more than he’s felt in his time there, and it’s all he can do not to start crying again. He gets back to his bunk, his comm lighting up, Hanzo’s name across the screen, and for the first night in a while, Jesse McCree rests easy.  
They’d spent a few weeks like this, not sure exactly what all had happened between them since they last saw each other. Hanzo finally tells him news that had been eating him alive; He has to go for a bit, he’s finally taking down the Shimada clan. He’s not sure when he’ll be back, but he promises a few things to Jesse.

“No matter what happens, I’ll return to you, and I’ll be alive when I do, Jesse.” He warns Jesse to be safe, that he should be careful who he keeps around, and with that, he signs off for the last time. Without Hanzo, the cowboy feels lonely, but he knows that he’ll be alright; he did promise after all. And Hanzo has never broken a promise.

 

\--- EPILOGUE ---

 

In the 2 months that Hanzo Shimada has been out of touch with Jesse, the explosion, the fall of Overwatch, happened and Jesse has defected from Blackwatch and Overwatch, and is ready to settle down. Joining Overwatch pardoned most of his ill deeds, but not quite all of them. He settles down in a large apartment, holding his own and taking care of himself. He’s settled down with a dog, his black German Shepherd named Spades, ready to live life with an open arm and a fresh start, one unlike anything he’s had in a while. He’s ready to live his white picket fence, apple pie life and he’s relaxed. He’s let go of Hanzo somewhat, and he’s accepted the fact that Hanzo may be dead or may never come back. As soon as the news comes on that morning, the first headline that catches his eye is that the Shimada clan of years past is no more. He hears his comm beep for the first time in months and he has to check to make sure it was his comm. He gets an incoming call and it’s Hanzo. He’s in a confused shock, watching the news as he hears the only words Hanzo says. “It’s finished. Where can I find you, Jesse?” He’s just crying- when did that happen? As he gives Hanzo the address of his apartment. “I should be there by tomorrow morning. Rest easy, Jess. I’m coming home.” and with that, he blurts out a quick I love you as Hanzo says the same in response, hanging up. It’s dinner time and Jesse is heating up leftovers as there’s a knock on his door. He can’t help but starting crying again as Spades watches from his spot on the couch, Jesse crossing over to the door and opening it. He opens the door to find Hanzo Shimada on the other side, a bag slung over his shoulder. Hanzo looks so tired and exhausted, but there’s the biggest, dumbest, most relieved smile Jesse’s ever seen grace Hanzo’s features. Jesse hugs Hanzo so hard, the embrace reciprocated and as they pull back, he asks Jesse, ‘How are things these days, Jesse?’ and they walk into the apartment, and the door shuts behind them as they catch up for all the lost time.


End file.
